


Wildest Dreams

by KatHowellLester



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Genderfluid Spencer, Mean Haley Brooks, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 08:56:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5737510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatHowellLester/pseuds/KatHowellLester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer Reid has had a crush on the star football player Aaron Hotchner for over a year. Spencer is a sophomore (though he could be in a higher grade if he wanted to) and Aaron is a senior. Spencer knows the unlikelihood of Aaron even noticing he exists, let alone falling in love with him. Plus, Aaron is dating Haley Brooks. It's like everything is against Spencer being with Aaron, until they actually meet.</p><p>It's super stereotypical but I wanted to make it so here we are. Also I'm sorry about making Haley really mean and bitchy. I'm not sorry about making Spencer genderfluid. Kevin isn't in this because I want Penelope to be with Derek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't like genderfluid characters then you won't like this. Please don't leave rude comments as they are a waste of time both for me to read and for you to write.

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."  
~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 

"Spencer? Spencer? Pretty boy, stop staring at your boyfriend and listen to me," Derek said, snapping his fingers in front of Spencer's face.

"He's not my boyfriend and he never will be. What do you want?" Spencer was in a bad mood from what his mother had said the day before. Spencer knew she didn't mean it, she was sick after all, but it stuck in his head.

You like a boy? If you can't get a girl, what makes you think you can get a boy? Especially one so popular, and not to mention, taken, that's what his mother had said when he told her about Aaron.

"Alright, calm down. I just wanted to know when you start tutoring Aaron. You know, this might be your chance to get him to like you." Derek smirked.

"He doesn't even know I exist. I was in the library when he was talking to David Rossi about it. He said, 'why did I get paired with a sophomore? And why a sophomore I've never even heard of?' Don't you see? He barely wants to be tutored, let alone by me." Spencer sighed and covered his face with his hands.

"When do you start tutoring him?" Morgan asked again.

"Uh, tomorrow, I think? The librarian asked me if I was planning on tutoring Aaron in the library or at my house and I asked why not his house and she gave me this sad look before explaining that Aaron didn't want to study at his house. I told her to ask him if it was okay to study at my house and she told me earlier today that he had agreed and that she had given him my address." Spencer put his hands down on the table before standing up and heading to the library. Without Spencer knowing, Derek was a bit behind him, keeping an eye out to make sure no one attacked Spencer in the halls.

A couple members of the football team cornered Spencer and were making comments on Spencer's appearance before Derek rounded the corner.

"Oh, look it's your bodyguard. I guess he's afraid someone might try to fuck you in the hallway," the bigger one, Kevin, said. Spencer looked down and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Derek, he's not yours, is he? Why would you want something so broken?" Derek surged forward, pushing Kevin to the ground. By now, the other had taken off, having already been on that end of Derek's fist.

"He's not broken. And he's not owned by anyone. If I catch you or any of you goonies near Spencer again, I'll snap your heads off your necks." Derek stood up and let Kevin walk off. In a split second of Derek standing up Spencer was hugging his waist.

"Thank you," Spencer whispered. Derek hugged Spencer back before letting him go so that he could go to the library. Of course, Derek continued to follow him, and if he hid behind shelves in the library, keeping an eye on the genius, no one had to know.

**  
Spencer unlocked the front door of his house and stepped inside, quickly shutting and locking the door behind him. It was like an instinct, and probably something Jason taught him. When Spencer's mother went to the sanatorium, Jason moved in for awhile to help Spencer get used to not having his mother around. Spencer found that he actually enjoyed being alone, though he visited his mother often. Spencer almost didn't notice when Jason left for college, but he didn't think much of it now, almost two years later.

Spencer went up the stairs to his room and threw his bag on his bed, before pacing back and forth out of nerves. Spencer heard a knock at the door, so he grabbed his bag and raced down the stairs. He looked out the window beside the door. He saw Aaron Hotchner standing, waiting. Spencer unlocked the door and opened it, gesturing for Aaron to walk inside.

"So, you're Spencer, right?" Aaron asked, looking Spencer up and down. Spencer was suddenly very conscious of the outfit he had chosen for the day, a cream, collared shirt with a dark orange sweater layered over top, black skinny jeans, and cream oxfords on his surprisingly small feet.

"Yeah, um, do you want to study in the living room or the dining room or...?" Spencer was unconsciously playing with his hands, causing Aaron's eyes to catch the glint of nail polish on the younger boys nails.

"Your nails are painted," Aaron pointed out. Spencer looked at his fingers.

"Uh, yeah. My friend, Penelope, made a bet with me and I lost and my forfeit was for her to paint my nails. At least I got to choose the colour." Spencer had of course chosen a mute colour, one you would only notice if you looked close enough. It was a pale orange, almost skin tone.

"They're cute. We can study in your living room, it would be more comfortable, right?" Spencer was speechless for a moment, confused by what Aaron had said.

"W-what?" Spencer stuttered.

"The living room? We can study in there." And Spencer nodded his head, thinking that maybe he'd just imagined that Aaron complimented him at all.

"Um, what do you want to start with?" Spencer asked.

"Depends. What are you best at?" Aaron was looking around the room, noting the lack of photos.

"Uh, everything?" Aaron laughed and handed Spencer his calculus book.

**  
Spencer ended up doing most of the work, while Aaron leaned back on the couch, letting Spencer reach over him for a pencil or a pen or a piece of paper, watching the way he worked and the way he would explain slowly and glance back to make sure Aaron was still listening.

"-synthetic division is easier than using long division but you can't use it if the degree is above one. There's different ways to do it but multiplying and dividing polynomials is simple if you organise your work. Aaron? Are you listening?" Aaron nodded his head, and noticed the way Spencer sat somewhat close but not enough for any part of their bodies to have contact. Aaron sat up, making sure to move close enough to Spencer so that their thighs touched, only to find that Spencer moved away. Aaron moved again, closer to Spencer and this time he didn't move.

"You were talking about synthetic division, Spencer. Do you want to continue? We can take a break if you want." Aaron looked to Spencer's face for any clues but just saw confusion, then a bit of anger.

"You don't have to be nice. Your friends certainly aren't." Spencer spoke with almost venom in his voice, hating to think of what the rest of the football team wanted to do to him and what they already had managed to do before he became friends with Derek, JJ, and Emily.

"Spencer? What are talking about? What friends?" Aaron was a bit concerned since he was 100% against bullying of any kind.

"The football team. And the cheerleaders. The majority of the senior class." Spencer looked at Aaron trying to figure out if he was actually concerned, and he found that Aaron was, along with not knowing about what his friends were doing.

"When? When was the last time?" Aaron looked down, disappointed in himself for not knowing his friends were bullying.

"Today. It happens everyday. I have a couple friends that watch out for me to make sure nothing gets out of hand."

"What-? Um, what do they do?" Aaron almost didn't want to know but he was going to fix this.

"Depends on the person. Some just say mean things, some beat me up, some try to touch me. It depends on where I am, too." Aaron sat in silence. He didn't believe that his friends were capable of this but he also didn't believe Spencer was lying.

"Who? Who does what?" Aaron wished he didn't ask.

"The cheerleaders are just mean but with one exception, which is Poppy. The football team is split in half between who beat me up and who have tried to rape me or touch me. There's about five or six who do both." Spencer didn't know why he was telling Aaron.

"Who does both? Can you give me names? Maybe jersey numbers?" Spencer sighed and covered his face with his hands before removing his hands and standing up.

"It doesn't matter. They've done it for a long time." Spencer walked to the kitchen to get a drink of water.

"Spencer, it does matter. They need to stop. Who is it?" Spencer looked at Aaron's face for minute then replied.

"Usually it's Kevin. Sometimes it's Jacob or Marcus. I only the numbers of the other three. Uh, twenty two, sixty seven, and nine."

"That's, uh, Connor, Jonathan, and Cody. Which one got the closest?" Aaron was already planning how to stop the problem, but he wanted to make sure it was in the right way.

"Uh, Marcus. But Kevin tries a lot." Spencer walked out of the kitchen and back to the living room. He didn't sit down at first but decided to after Aaron did.

"Come here, Spencer. Please, don't treat me like I'm going to hurt you when I'm not. I'm going to take care of this. I won't let any bullying continue. Okay?"

"And if it gets worse or doesn't change?" Spencer already knew it wasn't going to stop. That's why Derek and Emily just follow him. They think he doesn't notice but he does, every time.

"Trust me." Aaron touched Spencer's thigh with his hand without thinking about it, but quickly removed it when he realised.

**  
Spencer went straight to his locker the next morning, and found an envelope taped to the door. He looked around, but saw no one. He didn't expect to, since he always showed up early to help his friends with homework or to just hang out with them. Spencer took the envelope off his locker and opened it.

Dear Spencer,  
I'm taking care of the problem and I will let you know how it goes. Please, be careful. I will talk to you at lunch. Stay away from Haley Brooks, Marcus, and Kevin. It's for your own good, I promise. Don't question why I said Haley just know that she isn't happy that I'm going to be spending a lot of time with you.  
-Aaron H.

Spencer was confused but decided to trust Aaron, figuring he was right. Spencer quickly put the letter back into the envelope and into his bag.

"Hey, Spencer," Penelope Garcia spoke from behind him, holding two coffees.

"Hi, Penelope." Spencer took his coffee from her, and took a drink.

"Will you help me with Spanish?" Penelope asked.

"Sure, do you want to go to the library or to the Spanish classroom? I think Ms. Eva is here." Penelope nodded and they headed upstairs to the Spanish classroom.

**  
Spencer forgot about the letter attached to his locker that morning, at least, during lunch he did. Because he was almost as surprised as everyone else at the table when Aaron sat down next to him. But then he remembered.

"I spoke to them and I think it worked on them except for Kevin and Marcus. I'll deal with them later, but they shouldn't bother you for the rest of the day considering I threatened to get them kicked off the team for bullying. Has anyone bothered you today?" Aaron spoke sort of quietly, since everyone at the table was silent.

"Uh, no, I've gotten a couple mean comments and called names but nothing I can't handle myself." Spencer was embarrassed and completely aware of the six pairs of eyes on him. He knew Aaron was still somewhat staring, as well as Penelope, Derek, JJ, and Emily, but he also saw Haley staring at him from behind Aaron's back.

"What? What's wrong?" Aaron asked, when Spencer looked away from him.

"Haley."

"What is she doing?" Aaron asked as he turned around. Haley didn't have enough time to stop glaring before he noticed and she immediately stood up and walked over.

"Why are you sitting with them?" Haley said 'them' as though the word itself was poison, which made Aaron angry.

"I'm sitting with Spencer and his friends because I want to. Besides, Haley, I'm sure you have other things to do than torment the people I hang out with. So how about you go back to all those guys over there who get more from you than your boyfriend does? At least they give a damn." Haley looked shocked before she responded.

"Fine, Aaron. Have fun with the slut over here and all his bodyguards. I'm sure if you find a closet you'll enjoy each others' company a bit more. Have fun explaining to your dad that you broke up with your girlfriend, especially when I tell everyone who you dumped me for. Your dad will know about your little secret before you even get home." Haley walked off, with her skirt way too short and her top way too tight.

"Aaron, you didn't have to do that. You should get back." Spencer moved away from Aaron.

"Relax, Spencer. She and I pretend to be together so that we can trick our parents. Her parents like that she is with me because I'm a good student with good behaviour. She wouldn't jeopardise that." Aaron put his hand on Spencer's thigh for a moment, not bothering to move away as quickly as last time.

"Hey, uh, Spence, can I talk to you?" JJ spoke up after a bit of silence. Spencer looked at Aaron for a split second before he stood and walked with JJ into the hallway.

"What's going on between you and Aaron?"

"I'm tutoring him and he's making sure his friends leave me alone. Why?" Spencer fidgeted under JJ's intimidating stare.

"He seems a little too friendly. Have you tried the profiling thing that Jason taught you?" Spencer nodded.

"I didn't spend a lot of time with him and we were in my house but so far I've gotten that there's something going on with his family, probably his dad judging by what he said earlier. I think his dad may have a problem with his sexuality. He's protective and trustworthy. Confident but not arrogant. Respectful and kind. He almost formed an immediate bond with me, like I do with certain people, which comes from childhood neglect, which is usually when a parent is absent, abusive, or not caring. He's fine. I'll let you know if anything seems off, though, JJ. You know that." JJ nodded and walked with Spencer back to the table. Aaron smiled as Spencer sat back down in his seat.

"Derek was telling me about how you hate technology. How do you hate technology?" Spencer laughed and explained and Aaron paid more attention than he had to.

"He also told me that you're germaphobic. You didn't tell me that."

"Uh, yeah, I avoid most physical contact because of it. Hand shaking actually spreads more germs than kissing."

"Really? Does that mean I should start greeting you with a kiss rather than a hand shake?" Everyone at the table laughed, comfortable with Aaron there.

**  
Aaron hung around Spencer for the rest of the day, checking on him in the halls, sitting by him in class, talking to him in the library.

"Why are you following me?" Spencer asked.

"I'm not. I'm just talking to you. Does it bother you?" Aaron felt bad for bothering Spencer, he just enjoyed being around the genius. He liked Spencer a lot more than Haley.

"N-no, I just-I uh-I'm not used to having someone around me all the time. I'm used to being alone in the library." Spencer looked down, his arms crossed around a book.

"Let's go sit down. You can tell me about the book you're reading." Aaron smiled and put his hand over Spencer's, squeezing lightly. Spencer smiled back and let Aaron lead him to the very back of the library, which was almost invisible to the rest of the library. It was a small room, with soft chairs. Most people didn't know it was there which was why Spencer always read there. He never realised that Aaron knew it was there too.

**  
That night, Spencer wasn't expecting Aaron to come over, much less while he was getting dressed after a shower. Spencer barely heard the knock, since he was in the bathroom on the second floor on the back side of the house. He quickly finished getting dressed, and ran down the stairs, completely aware of how wet his hair was as he could feel water drip down his back.

"What's wrong? Why are you here? It's late." Spencer moved out of the way, so that Aaron could walk in.

"I know, Spence, and I'm sorry. I was just a little stressed out at home." Spencer nodded and shut the door. Aaron moved into the living room and sat on the couch, putting his head in his hands.

"Aaron, what's going on?" Spencer sat next to him, waiting for him to look at him.

"Nothing. I just couldn't stay at home, I hope you don't mind. I had no where else to go. Haley doesn't want anything to do with me, for obvious reasons, and Dave is busy. I know we have only been friends for a couple days and I'm sorry that I'm even here, it was like I didn't know where I was going. I can leave if you want, I'm sure your parents don't want me here." Aaron stood to leave but Spencer stopped him.

"Aaron, don't be ridiculous. Besides, I live alone. I don't mind having you here, you can stay as long as you want." Spencer smiled and timidly touched Aaron's hand.

"I know it's a lot to ask but do you think I can stay the night? My family isn't happy with me at the moment and I don't want to make them any more angry than they already are. I won't blame you if you say no."

"Of course you can. I have a spare room upstairs that you can use." Aaron nodded and pulled Spencer into a tight hug.

"Thank you." Spencer nodded and stepped away, not always used to hugs and things of that sort. He blushed and looked away from Aaron's curious look, unsure of whether it was a judging look or not.

"I was about to make dinner but I can show you your room if you want?"

"No, that's okay. I'll help with dinner. If you want me to, I mean." Spencer nodded.

"I'd like that." Aaron smiled and followed Spencer to the kitchen.

 

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."  
~George MacDonald


	2. Chapter One

"It's one of my theories that when people give you advice, they're really just talking to themselves in the past."   
~ Mark Epstein

 

Spencer and Aaron decided to watch a movie after dinner, since there really wasn't much else to do but go to bed. Neither really chose, they just looked around on Netflix for something. They chose something almost at random, bored of looking. Spencer fell asleep about half way through, slightly cuddled up to Aaron.

"Spencer, wake up. C'mon, I'll take you up to your room," Aaron spoke quietly, carefully lifting Spencer from the sofa. Aaron carried Spencer up the stairs, going to the room Spencer pointed at. Aaron put him in bed and left the room quietly, thinking Spencer would go back to sleep, but instead he changed into pyjamas and debated whether or not it was a good idea to go to Aaron's room. His mind was made when there was a loud boom from the thunderstorm.

"You don't have to answer the door, it's just that I don't want to sleep alone, and you're here and I'm sorry, I'll just go back to my room," Spencer spoke quickly, becoming nervous.

"Don't be ridiculous, Spencer. Open the door." Spencer turned the door handle and walked into the room, where Aaron was taking off his shirt and changing into sweatpants. Spencer immediately blushed and looked at the floor, afraid Aaron would think he was staring.

"Why don't you want to sleep alone?" Spencer looked up and took a breath before replying.

"I, uh, I have a lot of nightmares and when I sleep with someone, I feel better and don't have any nightmares. It's actually because my brain senses another person near me and creates the idea that danger can't get to me without alerting both me and the other person. Which is-"

"Spence, you're rambling. Just get in the bed," Aaron smiled as he spoke, and gestured to the spot next to him in the bed. Spencer walked over to the side of the bed and climbed in, laying on his right side to face Aaron.

"Better?" Aaron asked. Spencer nodded and smiled, especially when Aaron held his hand.

"Thank you, Aaron," Spencer said quietly, yawning afterwards. Aaron grinned and moved closer to Spencer, wrapping his arm around the younger boy's waist. Spencer was a little nervous at first, but realised that Aaron was doing it to calm him down so that he could go to sleep.

"Please, don't be afraid. I'm not going to do anything to you. Especially if you didn't want me to. I just thought you'd feel better if I were closer. You know, so if something were to try to hurt us, they'd hurt me first, according to all those statistics and science things you know about. Right?" Aaron spoke softly because of their close proximity, looking into Spencer's eyes to find something that would tell him how Spencer felt.

"Yeah, I just didn't expect you to care about what I'd said. To be fair, most people don't listen when I say things like that so I wouldn't be upset if you didn't. Thank you for making me feel better," Spencer cuddled closer into Aaron, relishing in the warmth of another person next to him. At first Aaron was surprised by Spencer willingly moving closer, but he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy just the same as he did before. Spencer's arm was around him as well, and Aaron realised it was for comfort.

"Goodnight, Spence," Aaron whispered, with his head right above Spencer's on the pillow.

"Goodnight, Aaron." Spencer smiled up at Aaron, cuddled back into Aaron's side, and drifted off to sleep. Aaron took longer to fall asleep, mostly because he was watching Spencer sleep next to him.

**

It was Saturday and Spencer had planned on going to see his mom, but he slept in and Aaron was there. He had to admit that his mom didn't always like him there, complaining about how he should be studying and working. Aaron wasn't in bed when Spencer woke up the first time. He stayed awake for a moment or two and soon Aaron came back from the bathroom.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty. How was your sleep?" Aaron climbed back into the bed next to Spencer and laid down. Spencer cuddled back into him and it was surprising, because Spencer had talked to Aaron about how he felt about germs and how he was germaphobic a day or two before.

"I wanna go back to sleep," Spencer spoke, obviously tired.

"Then let's go back to sleep." Aaron smiled at him, cuddling him.

The second time Spencer woke up, Aaron was right next to him, holding him close. Spencer had to admit that it was weird to have someone so close to him, but it wasn't a bad feeling. He enjoyed having Aaron there, even if it was a foreign feeling. Spencer wasn't sure if Aaron was awake and he didn't want to move if he was.

"Spence, it's almost noon. We need to get up," Aaron slowly pulled away from Spencer.

"I don't want to," Spencer whined, rolling over and pulling the blankets tighter around himself.

"Come on, get up, sleeping beauty. " Aaron put one arm back over Spencer, rubbing his hand back and forth over Spencer's hip.

"It's cold and I'm tired," Spencer protested. Aaron sighed and got up from the bed.

"Sunshine, get out of bed." Aaron moved a piece of Spencer's hair away from his face and traced his hand along Spencer's soft cheek. As he did so, he felt the warmth of a blush and the colour slowly spreading across the skin. Aaron smiled and looked at Spencer, who was laying in the delicate sunlight that was shining through the windows.

"Stop staring. I can't sleep with someone staring at me." Spencer still had his eyes closed and the blanket wrapped around him.

"How do you know I'm staring?"

"I can feel it. Just lay down with me." Spencer cuddled more into the blanket, covering himself almost completely.

"No, you need to get up. We can go somewhere or something. Do you really want to lay in bed all day?"

"Yes." Spencer opened his eyes and looked at Aaron, who was still standing next to the bed.

"Spencer, what do I have to do to get you out of bed?" Aaron sat down next to Spencer's legs and waited for an answer.

"Make breakfast. I need coffee." Spencer smiled shyly.

"I don't know where anything is. You'll have to come with me."

"Well, I'll get dressed and meet you down there." Spencer moved the blankets away and sat up.

"Why get dressed? We aren't going anywhere. Besides, you look cute." Spencer realised all of a sudden that, while getting changed quickly the night before, that he had put on a pair of pyjamas meant for a girl.

"Aaron, I need to tell you something and if it's a problem for you, I understand," Spencer spoke with fear in his voice.

"Okay?" Aaron sat next to Spencer on the bed and waited for him to speak.

"I'm genderfluid. Sometimes I feel like a girl and sometimes I feel like a boy. I change my pronouns accordingly and I usually go by Penny when I feel like a girl. I don't dress differently for school because I don't want more reason to bully me. Penelope paints my nails when I ask her to, but I always choose a muted colour. If you have a problem, please, just leave. Don't make me feel worse about it."

"Oh, Spencer," Aaron spoke, "why would I have a problem with you being genderfluid? I don't care what clothes you wear or if you feel like a girl or a boy or if you paint your nails or wear makeup. I like you. You are special and unique and it's not my place to tell you what you feel. I'll ask your pronoun everyday, and help you become confident with dressing how you want, and I'll do whatever you need me to because I-" Aaron stopped.

"Because you what?" Spencer asked.

"Because I love you. I understand that I haven't had enough time to fall in love with you but I love you as a person and maybe we could be together someday but for right now I can't deny myself the realisation that I do love you, Spencer." Aaron smiled and held Spencer's hand.

"I-I love you, too, Aaron." Spencer hugged Aaron tightly, feeling emotional.

 

“The first duty of love is to listen.”   
\- Paul Tillich


End file.
